Back (again) and Thanks

Dear Readers, I disappeared (again!). I know it wasn’t that long ago I wrote a post just like this one, but I’ve been in the same guilt zone lately. I had some really shitty days with my illness where my brain had enough trouble remembering my name, let alone writing blog posts. I also had a few things to get sorted out in my head before I returned to the keyboard. So (once again) I’m back. I can now happily guarantee that these disappearances will happen from time to time. Between lupus, ME etc, depression and anxiety, the rest of my life, and those moments where I just need to shut out the world, I’m gonna have to take time out now and then. I’m sure none of you could care less, but as a recovering perfectionist, I’ve had some struggles with not facing up to the screen every day. But, I can finally say I’m now ok with it (I think!).

image by tanahelene

I have also been touched by some gestures made by a couple of lovely bloggers and readers.

They awarded me with blog awards, and both were a while ago, so it’s time I gave them a proper thanks. I know there are mixed feelings out there about blog awards, but I am a new blogger with a tiny readership, just feeling my way and making this all up as I go along. So, I have to say that these awards were lovely. It lifted my spirits and gave me the biggest smile to know that two fellow bloggers are einterested in what I had to say. Here, in my early days, when I wonder if anyone’s out there, and whether this is worth the energy or not (I don’t have a whole lot of that, so it’s really a huge question), these two little tokens meant a lot. So thank you wonderful women! As both bloggers also asked for more information about me, I thought this was a good opportunity to tell a bit more.

First up a big thank you to Sarah at womanonpause.com who chose to give me a Liebster Award, which seems to exist to bring attention to small blogs. As part of the award-giving Sarah asked three questions of me:

1. Why do you blog? Funnily enough I’m actually planning an entire blog post that answers this one. I’ve experienced a lot in my life, good and bad, and lived through a lot of chaos (let’s call it ‘chaos'; a far nicer word than some others). I’ve also had some experiences and opportunities that most would label ‘unusual’ (or “OMG that’s amazing!”), so I always felt I had a few stories in me. Last year I went through another round of hell, and the concept of writing a blog to process it all started to form. But I didn’t. I held onto the concept though, and now that life is more stable and my health a lot better, I can write about the good, the bad and the in-between. I’m a passionate person, I’m a writer, and writing a blog seems like the perfect way to share my passions and my life.

2. What inspires you? This is actually a very difficult question for me to answer. A lot of people and a lot of things inspire me for very different reasons. But I’ll mention a few.

• I’m inspired by this incredibly beautiful world we live in: I’m inspired to do everything I can to help maintain it.I’m inspired by people who dedicate their lives to saving it.
• I’m inspired by people I’ve met overseas and in my country, who fight to survive against poverty, ill-health, no access to education, medical help, or financial help, and who just do it. They survive, they laugh, they cry, they raise their children with love, and they live.
• I’m inspired by the incredibly talented performers I have had the honour to work with. The dedication and determination they have, the courage to risk everything (including, for some, their lives) to offer a magical experience for their audiences.
• My husband. His talent, his love, his humour, his compassion, his intelligence, his encouragement, his spirit.
• Passion. People who are passionate about their life, their work, their families, their joy.

3. Morning Person or Night Owl? There is no doubt here! I do not function before about 11am. It doesn’t matter how much sleep I’ve had, if I’m up at 8am I may be conscious but I assure you nobody’s home! From the time I was a small child, I was a night owl. I read under the covers, I resisted all attempts at waking in the morning. I think better in the afternoon or evening, I feel more like me. Mornings are beautiful, I wish my body could embrace them, but it’s the moon and stars for me!

Next, thanks to the gorgeous gal behind Be Free at livingwithanxietytoday.wordpress.com for The Very Inspiring Blogger Award. Inspiring is an interesting word. I’m not sure it fits me. I have no idea what I’m doing, I just spew out words. But I’m grateful to be thought of in that way. As part of the terms for this one, I need to write seven interesting things about myself. ‘Interesting’ is subjective, and honestly this kind of makes me anxious, but I’ve made a list:

1. I’m a vegetarian. I remember wanting to become one from about the age of 3 when I first realised that meat=animal. But I wasn’t allowed to. I finally put my foot down at 13 and stopped the eating of the flesh. That was 24 years ago.
2. I used to move house every 6 months, on average. But then I bought a business which included a shop and children’s party studios and I lived in a flat out the back. I lived there for 3 years which was HUGE for me.
3. I have one brother who is 7 years older than me. We’re not close.
4. I once made up a lie story about having a twin sister named Adelina-Lou (seriously!), because I was curious to find out if anyone would believe it. I flashed around an old photo of myself as evidence. I was 14 (nope, not a typo). It worked! I even managed to convince people who had been at school with me since we were 4.
5. When I was in Primary School (aged about 7 or 9) I won a family pass to a visiting circus in a writing competition. I refused to go because the circus had animals in it. I then grew up to work in the world’s largest touring circus (no animals!)
6. I had my tonsils removed when I was 11. I was overdosed with anaesthetic and ‘died’. I was resuscitated. I saw it all happening from above, like I was floating in a corner of the room watching. None of the medical staff told my mother what had happened, or explained why I’d been in surgery a lot longer than expected. But I started asking her questions about what I’d ‘seen’ and described it in detail. That’s when the truth came out.
7. I have worked with a lot of famous people. I’d rather work with non-famous people who have absolutely no ambition of ever becoming famous.

I also need to pass these awards on to other bloggers, but in all honesty, I’m as fresh to reading new blogs as I am to writing one, so I don’t have a list yet. I’m going to postpone that until I’ve had time to sit back, read, and absorb what’s out there.

Give me somewhere to start. Which blogs do you love, and why?

all words © Raw Once More 2013